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Full disclosure - I’m Generation X. Our brains are totally messed up. Let me give you just one example. As small children, we were exposed to TV programs like THE NEW ZOO REVIEW. The characters included an incredibly garish tutu wearing hippo, a creepy turtleneck wearing frog, and an owl that … okay, the owl was kind of cool, but that’s beside the point. These were all human sized, live action, dancing muppet monstrosities. To top it off, there was this nerdy hippie couple wandering around talking and dancing with them. To this day I’m convinced that they were just LSD users who found a way to monetize their hallucinations. So yeah, we never really had a chance growing up. That’s why my content gets fairly weird. Sometimes I’m a little disturbed at what comes out of my head. Oh, here’s my subscribe button.
Now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, here’s a NEW SPOOK REVIEW, aka a list of my spooky characters, which can all be found in my books for kids. Okay, some are in my Young Adult Urban Fantasy. I’ll get that one out of the way first.
Werewolves - the alphas lead the pack, but they’re in the most danger of becoming an “ancient one,” which is a full wolf demon that runs around on two legs, killing everything in sight.
Zombies - They have to consume neural tissues to preserve cohesion and sanity. The less they eat, the older they get, even to the point of decomposition.
Ghouls - Consumers of dead flesh, they can take on the identity of their dinners. If starved, they revert back to a wormlike creature, crawling on their bellies searching for sustenance. Full exposure to sunlight also has this effect, only in a far more rapid fashion.
Vampires - true slaves to the underworld, they are the most powerful, fastest, and cunning of the undead community. Of course they must consume blood to maintain their form. Full exposure to sunlight can reduce them to bones and ashes for more than a lifetime.
Okay, that was a little heavy. Here’s the link to that book.
Alright, now for my kids’ books.
Zombies - a banana-eating horde of grotesque creatures
Brownies - Scottish household spirits, often helpful to humans
Boggarts - basically brownies in a mentally disturbed state who can change form at will to fight off enemies, who would be basically anyone else
Trowe - formed from the consumed blood of ancient kings, these creatures are avid fans of the musical arts. Too bad they usually end up killing the artists.
Haints - hydrophobic spirits residing primarily in the southeastern United States
Ogres - really big, stupid creatures who are angry that you are still alive
Dragons - huge, flying, pyromaniac lizards
Trolls - kind of like ogres, only they prefer to guard bridges
Ghosts - leftover wills and intentions of dead people
Necromancer - this dude has found a way to live forever. It involves taking the bones out of other people and replacing them with his own. Of course, he resides in a haunted house.
Prolifics - the term I use to describe characters who descend from ancient, evil gods and giants
Weird - similar to prolifics, but not necessarily evil. They usually claim and protect geographic territories
Banshees - half fae, half human women known for their death screams
Familiar - animals, usually cats, that take up residence with supernatural people
Druids - people who know a lot about magic, but can no longer wield it like they did in the past
Now, tell me that’s not messed up! So why would you want your kids to read books like this? Well, I think they’re pretty good. Also, they teach life lessons in a fantasy story format. Plus, unlike so many books today, they have absolutely no political agenda. I do have a picture book about butterflies too, though.
Until Next Time, God Bless!
I remember the New Zoo Review!