Tickled to Death
Funny Epitaphs For Kids
Jon Coley
Epitaphs are poems written on the grave stones of our beloved deceased. While visiting an amusement park with a famous rodent mascot, I noticed some funny epitaphs written on grave markers. It was on my favorite ride, THE HAUNTED MANSION. This collection of poetry is meant to make you laugh, much the same way those epitaphs made me laugh while waiting in line. The names in each poem aren’t actually related to real persons.I teach school, and decided to use some of the names on the class rosters. Rest assured, this is all in good fun. I do not fantasize on my students’ untimely demise. Usually.
Welcome to Our Graveyard
Our Residents are Tickled to Death to Have You Here
Enjoy the Tour
Here Lies Eli
Who Slipped on a Cow Pie
And Why is He Now Dead?
Well, He Landed on His Head
Rest In Peace Laynee
You Were so Sweet and Never Dull
As Smart as You had been,
Now Worms Wiggle in Your Skull
Here Lies Gibson
Who Robbed a Bank in Lisbon
He Jumped From The Plane With all Of His Loot
If Only He’d Remembered That Darned Parachute
Here Lies Jillian
A Friend to All of Us
She Should Have Looked Both Ways
Before Walking in Front of that Bus
Rest In Peace Logan
Who Engaged in Battle with a Shogun
And how Sad it was When He Died
For Out Came What Should’ve Stayed Inside
Our Dearest Camryn
To Live on the Lake was Her Greatest of Wishes
Hard She Worked All Her Life
Now She is Sleeping
with the Fishes
Here Lies Young Carson
Who Had a Long Career of Theft and Arson
He Stole a Car
for Goodness Sakes
Too Bad it Didn’t Have any Brakes
Rest In Peace Gabriel
Born with the Gift Of Gab
It’s a Shame You Opened the Wrong Door
Into the Pathogen Lab
Here Lies Kaylee
Who Was Never A Phony
Still She Should Not
Have Eaten
That Expired Pepperoni
Here Lies Talon
Our Good Friend And Brother
His Body Went One Way
But His Head Went the Other
