You Tryna Be Funny?
Jokes for Kids
Jon Coley
For Polly
She was always good for a laugh.
Chapter 1:
And So It Begins
Let’s Laugh Together, My Friends!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Fourteen
Fourteen who?
Fourteen in class is so rude. You should really just go to the bathroom.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Frog
Frog who?
Frog it about it. It’s toad-ally not worth the effort.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Giraffe
Giraffe who?
Giraffe to be careful around wild animals.
Redneck word of the day - Bonus.
Suddenly outta nowhere, a skunk came a bonus. To wit I proclaimed that I smelled trouble.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Shorts
Shorts a little hard to do, but you’ll get better if you practice.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Auburn
Auburn who?
Auburn the cookies every time I try baking with that new oven.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Aubrey
Aubrey who?
Aubrey dog gone! I haven’t seen you in a coon’s age. How the heck are ya?
Redneck word of the day -Your Nation.
Your nation is what happens when you stay well hydrated.
Who called them accusers instead of alligators?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Tinnitus
Tinnitus who?
Tinnitus the night I finally do something about this horrible ringing in my ears!
Kid 1: How’s band practice going?
Kid 2: Okay I guess, but I decided not to play the lute.
Kid 1: Why not?
Kid 2: Because pirates and thieves are always trying to find them.
Redneck word of the day - Ashley.
Are you Ashley gonna sit there and say that to my face?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Joe Biden
Joe Biden who?
Joe Biden your time, but you’re eventually going to have to open the door.
Why don’t the other band instruments trust guitars?
Because they’re directly related to lyres.
I wasn’t sure how to throw the boomerang.
But it came back to me.
Redneck word of the day - Distress.
Distress sure is purdy, itn’t it?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
A European
A European who?
A European in the wrong place, and your a cleanin’ it up too.
(Most people wouldn’t stoop so low as to crack a joke like this. I’m not most people.)
A cowboy and his son went horseback riding. They traveled beside a rolling river for a while. The child noticed that the land had gotten less rocky and more sandy. He also noticed his father was looking over at the other side of the river.
“Are we about to cross it, Pa?” he asked.
The cowboy nodded, “Yup, right there at that sand ford, son.”
Kid 1: Remember, if there’s a fire, you should never use the elevator.
Kid 2. I should use the stairs?
Kid 1: I suppose you could try that, but I’d use water.
Redneck word of the day - Wrencher.
Wrencher hands off real good after you warsh em.
Kid 1: After the accident, the insurance company offered my mom a loaner car, but she turned it down.
Kid2: Why would she do that?
Kid 1: She just prefers driving with her family and friends.
Kid 1: Don’t go shopping in that new furniture store.
Kid 2: Why not?
Kid 1: They sell vegan leather.
Kid 2: I don’t understand.
Kid 1: Me neither. Sure vegans are annoying, but there’s no need to do that to them.
Kid 1: Have you’ve decided what you’re going to do when you go to Africa?
Kid 2: Not safari.
Redneck word of the day - Freeze.
People pay attention to what he says, Freeze a real smart feller.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Hugh
Hugh who?
What?
Hugh who?
Yes?
I don’t believe you thought this joke through.
Kid 1: My parents had a meeting with my teacher yesterday.
Kid 2: Was it intense?
Kid 1: No, it was in her classroom.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you’d open the door. It’s cold out here.
Redneck word of the day -Watcher.
Watcher doin, good lookin?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Vegan
Vegan who?
Vegan-ing to think that you’re never going to open this door.
Knock knock
Whose there?
Lewis
Lewis who?
Lewis a good friend of mine. You know him?
Kid 1: I decided to switch from PC to Mac for my computing needs.
Kid 2: Has it been going smoothly?
Kid 1: Not Safari.
Redneck word of the day - Grace.
Grace your goober peas before you boil em. That’s good eatin.
Kid 1: Did you go to the game last night?
Kid 2: No.
Kid 1: Well, why not?
Kid 2: Because Ashley.
Kid 1: Huh?
Kid: Because Ashley, I’m not that much of a soccer fan.
